Saturday, May 21, 2005

Episode 27: Attack of the Tree Vermin

Meryl Yourish blogs about squirrel troubles in Richmond.

I had the same problem. In my apartment, two squirrels started nesting in the living room walls, constantly scratching and burrowing. Our apartment people were delaying sending pest control out. The problem was that they were right where the cable jack was, which they were chewing on. We started losing reception for all our end channels: around 1-12 and 50-72.

At first I tried banging on the walls, which didn't help. Then I got from 7-11 a cigar and a long Big Gulp straw and tried to smoke them out, and that didn't work. Finally, after a very trying friday of a very trying week, I got fed up. I took the hammer and widened the hole they already made. The rest involves a carving fork, a carving knife, a fishbowl, and a scene that resembles what Anakin Skywalker probably did to all the Paduwan children. Killed one, mortally wounded the other after I tore its tail off and threw it off the patio.

These things are a complete nuisance and destroying thousands of peoples' property. I say have one year--just one year--of open season on these monsters. I'm sure the species would survive, and the city's pest problems would be eliminated for 5-10 years.


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