Holy Bloody Crap!!

I took off of work early due to physical illness. Not "I'm not feeling well. May I have the rest of the day off?" ill, but "Oh my God! What the hell is going on? I need to see a doctor!" ill. Here's a hint for you: It happened in the bathroom, and it's the first time in awhile I've seen that much blood come out of me.

Thankfully, I was able to schedule a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Had bloodwork done, and now have a, how do you say, "evasive procedure" scheduled for two tuesdays from now. I would have thought it the lamest of jokes if someone had woken me up that morning by saying "Don't forget to schedule your colonoscopy with plenty of time the night before for the prescription-strength laxitive to take full effect."

Well, I say we have some fun with this. Let's start a betting pool on what medical condition I have, exactly. To enter, you have to send me $10 paypal dollars. If no one gets it right, I keep the pot to pay for medical expenses. Choose an illness below, or add your own:

Gastroenteritis
Colitis
Food Poisoning
Inflammaory bowel disease
Polyp
Ulcers
Anal Sex Injury
Crohn's disease
Celiac
Diverticulitis
Cancer
Intussususception
Gastritis

Silver Lining: Since I got the afternoon off, to listen to Rush today.

UPDATE: Bigwig thinketh I protest too much. Hey, if I'm going to have the best blog possible, then I've got to have to hold nothing back, justlike the best writers or talk-radio hosts.